I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize