It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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