Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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