when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
