rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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