whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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