the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
