Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
