Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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