So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
