Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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