wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I haven't been this sober since birth.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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