have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize