Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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