I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
