things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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