So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
