Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
