Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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