he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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