A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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