im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Small penises have feelings too.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
