I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
