he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
