If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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