This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
