1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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