pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
