We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize