Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
