Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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