Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize