Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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