Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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