you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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