i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
