best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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