i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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