I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
