Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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