Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
