dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
