it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
