i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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