I think I died a long time ago.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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