I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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