I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it glows. i had to have it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
