got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
