Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
