I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
