Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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