did you get engaged???
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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