My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Holy shit dude........stairs
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
