I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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