Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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