At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
